


The Great Earp-ish Bake Off

by PrancingFinn



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Family, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Mary Berry Was My Muse, Violence Against Baking Products
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 17:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12845592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrancingFinn/pseuds/PrancingFinn
Summary: Waverly is known for her banana muffins, but Wynonna's looking to knock her down a peg. Everyone else is wishing they'd shut up and let them eat their food in peace.





	The Great Earp-ish Bake Off

**Author's Note:**

> Gus lives at the Homestead. Why? Because it was easier that way.

                                                                                                   The Great Earp-ish Bake Off

                                                      Rated T for occasional coarse language and violence towards fruit and baking ingredients.

 

                                       This was Purgatory. The phrase "Expect the unexpected." was an understatement around the small town. Between revenants and demons, gunfire and kidnappings, it was enough to keep anyone on their toes. But this event was so unfamiliar and occurred so slowly, that no one even noticed just when it happened. It started with only Gus, Wynnona, and Waverly. Of course, Nicole soon followed. Eventually, Doc was involved and gradually after that, Dolls. They were all pulled to the Homestead, without discussion, like moths drawn to the last light in the dark. This was how the lone wolves and the lonely, the unlikely friends, began the ritual, the tradition, of what Wynonna liked to call "The Goddamn Earp Family Dinner!" Gus preferred to simply call it, "Sunday Supper" and she loved it.

They have a routine, one that was again, not discussed. It flowed, it worked and it made the time they spent together precious. Gus made dinner, she had insisted. Waverly would make up one of her desserts, well-known throughout Purgatory. Her banana muffins, in particular, were a favorite among those working at the Sheriff's Office. Wynonna brings herself because as she says, that should be gift enough in of itself, and while outwardly she begrudgingly helps Gus and Waverly with dinner, internally, she loves these moments. Nicole brings snacks. Sometimes fresh bread and cheeses, other times simply chips and homemade salsa. Doc brings beer. Something light and crisp to quench thirsts on the summer days, something bold and spicy for when the temperatures drop, the fires were lit, and bellies were in need of warming. Dolls brings flowers for the cook. A different assortment every time, beautifully arranged and presented to Gus. When Gus admires his eye for beauty and thanks him warmly, each and every time, Dolls looks down bashfully for a moment before returning to his typically stoic demeanor.

  
It was unseasonably warm and humid for late August. Instead of having dinner in the stuffy air of the Homestead, the group had decided it was time to break out the grill and have a good old-fashioned cookout. Two tables and a few chairs were brought from the barn and Gus' rocking chair appeared from within the house.

"We can't have our gracious cook, Ms. McCready, on these uncomfortable chairs, now can we, my friends?" Doc suggested, with a tip of his hat at Gus. The rest of the group agreed, but Gus simply rolled her eyes, hiding the small grin on her face.

  
The table was set, food was placed on the table, beers were opened and deposited in front of each place setting and everyone sat with a relaxed groan around the tables. Grilled chicken, vegetable skewers, and pasta salad were passed around to big eyes and hungrier bellies. Gus had long made the rule that no work talk was allowed at Sunday Supper and they all tried very hard to follow that, but when a particularly interesting case was inevitably brought up, you could see her eyes dance with interest. When the food had been eaten and belts loosened, Waverly got up from her conversation with Gus and Nicole.

"So, who's ready for some key lime pie?" she said, practically dancing in place. Waverly loved Sunday supper.

"Hell yeah!," Wynonna shouted, " You don't think I stayed for the company of these rubes, do ya?" She gestured over in Dolls' and Doc's direction who paid her no attention but were nodding in agreement about the pie.

Waverly bounced into the house with Nicole following close behind to help with any serving dishes or utensils that may be needed. She wasn't really interested in seeing Wynonna dive face first into the pie like she had last Christmas after a few too many egg nogs. Not that she could blame her. Waverly made delicious egg nog and no one really noticed or cared when it got spiked more generously throughout the evening. Doc's touch, no doubt.

When the two women returned from the house, pie, plates, and forks in hand, the group had moved the chairs up to the porch and were settling in. Doc had removed his hat, setting it gently on the rail and removed his boots. Nicole and Waverly passed around the pie making sure to give Wynonna her piece last, so they could chuckle at her pitiful whining.

"You two are really the worst when you get together," she said, shoveling the pie in her waiting mouth, before letting out an embarrassing moan, "but oh my god, that was worth the wait."

"Do you need some time alone, Wynonna?" Nicole quipped before sitting down to indulge in her own slice, knowing she would enjoy it just as much as Wynonna, perhaps just not as vocally.

"Shut it, Haught."

Once everyone had their fill of the key lime pie, the dishes were brought into the house, the beers were refreshed for all with a small glass of whiskey going to Doc and Wynonna. In the beginning, Wynonna would often end the night, half dressed, face down on the living room couch with half a handle of sour mash in her gut and little memory of what happened when she woke up. These days, she far preferred the occasional drink, to be clear-headed, to file these moments deep within her, to pull from them when she needed them the most.

Wynonna relaxed and looked at her ragtag family. Gus, Waverly, and Nicole were talking amongst themselves quietly, likely congratulating themselves on the delicious supper and planning the feast for next Sunday. She smiled, took a sip of whiskey, and looked over at Dolls and Doc. Both were leaning in their chairs, feet propped up against the railing of the porch. Dolls in his polished to a shine boots, Doc in his worn socks, his big toe poking out from the end.

"Doc!" Wynonna said, focusing more on Doc's foot, "What's with your socks? Every year, Gus gives us lame new socks for Christmas.."

"Hey! I seem to recall you being very thankful for those socks when the temperatures drop into freezing." Gus exclaimed, looking up from her conversation.

"Yeah, yeah, very practical, Gus. Thank you. Anyway," she says, turning her attention back to Doc, "she gives us new socks and you're sitting here with your damn toe sticking out the end."

"Don't you know that these are my very special Sunday socks?" Doc said, turning his head slightly.

"What's so goddamn special about them?" she inquired.

"Why Wynonna, these here are my special Sunday socks," he said, waiting for a beat, "because they are holey." His lips twisted into a grin, just hidden by his mustache as the women behind him groaned. Wynonna dug into her drink and threw an ice cube at him.

"I should have you tried for treason for that." Dolls, who had been silent throughout, finally said with the faintest bit of a smile showing in his eyes. Doc and Dolls loved Sunday suppers.

Waverly stands up, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention. "Okay, we were trying to plan next Sunday's dinner and were deciding between two dessert options. One, fudge brownies with marshmallows or two, my famous banana nut muffins."

"Famous according to who?" Wynonna interjected.

"Purgatory. Nedley. Everybody." Waverly said, waving her hands in a wide circle.

"You know, Gus taught me that same recipe, so technically, I also have famous banana nut muffins." Wynonna said, taunting her sister.

"Yes, but I make them with love." Waverly said, clearly getting a little agitated with her sister.

"And what do I do, spit in them? I'm just saying, my famous banana nut muffins are probably better than yours." she said, egging Waverly on a little.

"They are not!"

"Are too!"

"They are not!" Waverly said, now indignant and stepping closer to her sister who was not backing down, but in fact, seemed to be taking great pleasure in riling her little sister up.

"I think this is my cue to leave." Nicole said, getting up from her chair and wiping her hands on her pants. She stepped closer to Waverly, pulled her close, kissed the side of her head and whispered in her ear, "You keep defending those muffins, baby. I'll see you tomorrow." She kissed her once more, thanked Gus for the meal, wished the guys a good night and walked to her car to a chorus of "Are too! Are not!" fading behind her. She loved Sunday suppers.

 

                                                                                                    ***

 

It was nearing lunch time and Nicole was at the Sheriff’s Office listening to Mrs. Merton frantically explain she couldn’t find her pet raccoon, Angus.

"Mrs. Merton, you know raccoons are not allowed as pets inside Purgatory limits," but as the older lady broke down into wracking sobs, she felt her authority waver a little, "but on my way out to lunch, I will be on the lookout for the little trash panda." When Mrs. Merton gave her a blackened stare, she corrected herself, "I'm sorry, I mean, Angus. I will look for Angus, the raccoon." At least somewhat satisfied that she was being taken seriously, Mrs. Merton walked out of the office, sniffling heavily into her sleeve.

Nicole had just set her head down on her desk to ponder how her job had led her to raccoon wrangling when her phone buzzed with a text alert.

 **Waves [11:50]:** Have you left the station yet? I need a favor. It’s an emergency.  
**Nicole [11:50]:** Was on my way out. What do you need? Is everything okay?  
**Waves [11:57]:** Can you stop at Colburn’s General Store and pick up some bananas? As many as they have. Well no, not if they have thousands.                                Maybe 100. No, 50. Yeah, 50 should work. Can you bring them to the Homestead?  
**Nicole [11:58]:** Why do you want that many bananas right now, Waves?  
**Waves [11:58]:** Did you miss the part where I said it was an emergency? Bring them to the Homestead as soon as possible. Like now.  
**Waves [12:00]:** Please?  
**Nicole [12:05]:** Okay, but I demand to know what could possibly be considered a banana emergency once I get there, Waves.

Nicole stopped at Coburn’s and picked up a crate of bananas, eating one before setting it up on the counter for Mr. Coburn to ring up.

“Are you out to the Homestead, Officer Haught?” He asked, eyeing the crate, as he set it on the scale.

“I am, how’d you know?” Her head tilting, as she asked.

“Well, a couple fellas came in here earlier and darn near cleaned us out of baking ingredients. Flour, eggs, sugar. You’d think they were baking for an army. Now you with all these bananas, figured they might be related. Let’s call it 20 bucks for the bananas, huh?” Nicole paid for the bananas, secured them in the backseat of her cruiser, and drove to the Homestead as confused as ever.

Nicole arrived at the Homestead a short time later to find Gus standing outside on the porch sipping her coffee. She began to ask Gus what was going on, but Gus just shook her head and motioned her inside. Nicole walked into devastation. Various flours and sugars were laying open, egg cartons were scattered around the counters. Beaters and measuring cups were in various states of use. Yet this was only in a 10-foot diameter of Wynonna. Over by Waverly, bags were neatly lined up, ingredients were measured and waiting, even her apron was spotless at this point.

“Please tell me your banana emergency was not about those damn banana nut muffins, Waverly Earp!” Nicole said sharply, startling Waverly from her focus on her ingredients.

“Shitsticks, Nicole, you scared me.” Waverly said, clutching her chest before running over to her girlfriend, grabbing the bananas from her grasp, giving her a kiss on the cheek, then running back to her ingredients.

“No, you’re welcome. My pleasure.” Nicole said walking over to where Waverly was bent over the counter carefully peeling bananas. She looked over at Wynonna, who while dusted nearly head to toe with flour, was relaxing next to Doc and Dolls at the kitchen table. “What’s going on, Wynonna?”

“Oh, you know how she gets. She just won't admit I have better muffins." She smirked. Both Dolls and Doc rolled their eyes besides her but stayed silent.

“Waves, seriously, is this still about last night?” She asked, trying to look her girlfriend in the face.

“What if they could be better, Nicole?” She said, looking practically distraught, “I haven’t tried enough variables to really truly say I have the best banana muffins. The bananas could be diced, pureed, or coined. I could use brown sugar, or white, or half white and half brown. I could whip the egg whites to make them fluffier. I could use buttermilk, sour cream. I could change the nuts, pecans instead of walnuts. Or use strussel instead of a glaze.”

“Waverly Earp,” Nicole said, grabbing the near breathless girl gently by the face, “calm down, baby. They’re muffins. You always make delicious muffins. This is not a competition, okay?” Waverly opened her mouth to say something, but Wynonna beat her to it.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Haughtstuff..” and before she could finish, she felt the egg crack against her forehead, egg white and shell sliding down her face and the yolk landing with a solid plop on her leather boot.

“What have I said about the name puns, Wynonna?” Nicole said, not looking one bit guilty about the thrown egg.

“You hate them.” Wynonna growled, looking at the yolk defiling her once shiny leather boot. “You will pay for that Haught, I hope you know that. Retribution will be mine. You won’t know where or when, but I will have it!” Wynonna said, her fist in the air.

“It’s hard to take you threaten’, darlin’, when egg is literally on your face.” Doc spoke up, as he threw a damp towel towards Wynonna.

“As I was saying, before I was so rudely assaulted, by an officer of the law no less, is that it’s indeed a competition. Waverly and I have both signed up for the Great Purgatory Bake Off this year. The slogan, “Purgatory: Bananas about banana muffins.” She said, raising her hands in a rainbow gesture over her head. “It’s awful, but what can you expect, Nedley thought of it.”

“Oh babe, you got this, Waves. Stop stressing about it. Everyone loves your muffins.” Nicole said, running her hands over the top of Waverly’s head before running her fingers gently through her hair in hope of relaxing her a little. She leaned against Nicole and sighed, “It’s just I’m known for my muffins.”

“Unlike me,” Wynonna said, hopping on the flour coated counter, comically thrusting out her chest and twirling peacemaker, “I don’t need muffins for people to know my name.” She said winking at Waverly.

“Hey! I’m known for more than my muffins. Right, Nicole?” She said, looking at her girlfriend for some kind of assistance against Wynonna’s teasing.

Nicole coughs. “Right, right. Um.. You also make great oatmeal butterscotch cookies.”

Wynonna laughs so hard she almost falls off the counter, “You are so in the doghouse, Haught.” She said before grabbing her beer and gulping it down trying to stifle her laughter.

Waverly pushes Nicole away from her, “I hate you, Officer Haught.”

“I know you do, Ms. Earp. And now I must get back to the station, banana emergency taken care of.” She said, kissing Waverly’s cheek before she could pull away, catching a small smile on her face.

“You’re still in the doghouse!” Waverly yelled as Nicole bounded down the patio stairs.

“I’ll pick up some wood and nails at Coburn’s when I get off work!” She said over her shoulder. Before she could reach the bottom of the stairs, Gus had laid a hand on her shoulder.

“We’ll be seeing you for supper tonight?” She asked.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Gus.”

Back inside, Waverly spent hours more in researching the best methods for banana nut muffins, feeding what she considered disasters to Wynonna, Gus, Dolls, and Doc. Wynonna took a far more leisurely approach. After mixing the ingredients, she poked it with her finger a bit, wondered why they turned out a little pale and bland after baking, decided it was good enough, and went to drink beer with the others.

 

                                                                                                    ***

 

Nicole drove back to the Homestead when her shift ended and walked in to Gus busily preparing dinner, a proud looking Waverly, and three slightly green looking lumps sprawled on the couch.

“I tried to tell them not to eat so many darn muffins, but would any of them listen to me? Of course not.” Gus said, shaking her head at the pitifully moaning trio, “So now we’re having a very light dinner of grilled fish and salad, if that’s alright with you, Nicole.”

As she walks over to give her girlfriend a kiss, she says, “You know I would never complain about anything you cook, Gus. It’s always delicious.” Gus gave her a smile and continued preparing supper. Nicole looked down at Waverly and took her into a warm hug, “You’re awfully proud of yourself, aren’t you? Doc and Dolls look miserable and Wynonna looks like she may puke if she shifts too suddenly.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about." She said smirking, "I can't help it if even my disastrous muffins are too delicious to resist. And no one told them to eat them all. I made a lot of them, Nicole." She looks up at Nicole, seriously. "A lot."

Gus, Waverly, and Nicole sat on the patio shooting the breeze until the sun began to set, the temperature dropped a little cooler, and Gus became impatient. “Let’s go wake those idiots up. They may not be hungry, but I’m starving.”

Nicole and Waverly got about setting the table while Gus woke the grumbling trio. To their credit, they looked far less sickly than they did hours before and seemed ready to enjoy the meal. At some point between the living room and the kitchen, it had been decided that beer would be forgone because it was far too filling on their already stretched stomachs, so the whiskey and low ball glasses were pulled from the cabinets.

Conversation flowed easily between the group and the whiskey flowed even easier. When dinner was over, there were mentions of relaxing on the porch, but the temperature had dropped even further drawing the group into the living room. Doc built a fire in the old pot-belly stove and Gus suggested pulling one of the board games from the closet. Wynonna groaned, but Waverly clapped in excited, “I know the perfect one!” She ran to the closet, grabbed the game. Shouting “Settlers of Catan!”

“No one knows what that is, Waverly.” Wynonna moaned, slamming back the last of her whiskey before Doc refilled her glass.

“I do.” Nicole offered.

Wynonna glared at Nicole, “Fine, only dorks know what that is, Waverly.”

Waverly rolled her eyes at her sister and went about setting the board game up on the coffee table. She explained the rules and when it seemed like Wynonna had stopped complaining for the most part and everyone had a basic grasp of the game, they began to play. At the beginning, the game played smoothly, but as Wynonna began to lose, she began to drink, and as she drank, she got more obnoxious. And as she got more obnoxious, Waverly got more frustrated. Nicole tried to soothe her by running her thumb on the inside of her thigh, but she wasn’t sure how much it was helping at this point.

“I need wood.” Doc said, looking at the resources in his hand. He looked around to room to see if anyone was willing to trade.

“Oh, do you now, Doc? I didn’t think you were that drunk.” Wynonna smirked, winking at him from across the table.

Doc, who was actually quite tipsy, did not take her meaning and looked over at Dolls, “You have sheep, right? I’ve got wood for your sheep.” Dolls, however, did get the meaning and refused to answer, not even looking up from his cards. Wynonna just began laughing hysterically. Doc looked around, confused, before focusing on Waverly. “What in tarnation is going on? Is this not how you play this godforsaken game, Waverly?" Dolls and Wynonna began laughing so hard they scattered tiles across the table, some of them landing in circles of whiskey that had spilled over the course of the night.

“Yes, that is how you play the game, Doc. Or at least it is when you're not playing with idiots who won't get their minds out of the gutter!" She said, eyes blazing, her gaze steady on Wynonna.

“Hey! I didn't make this game. And I was just trying to keep things interesting. This game is boring as hell, but of course, you would find it interesting. Knights and resources and booooring. Why can't you like normal shit like Monopoly? Or strip poker? It's lucky you're gorgeous, otherwise.." She ended the sentence by throwing her head back and loudly fake snoring.

“Wynonna!” Gus snapped, “I think you’ve had enough to drink!”

“No, it’s fine, Gus. It’s.. fine.” Waverly said, getting up from the table and walking towards the stairs before the tears around her eyes could betray her words, “It’s fine. I think I’m going to go to bed now, though. Dinner was great, Gus. Good night.” She walked up the stairs without another word, followed by the slam of her bedroom door, then a softer slam of the bathroom door.

Nicole looked at Wynonna pointedly and moved to get up to follow Waverly. She was held in place by Wynonna’s hand on her shoulder.

“No, Haught, I got this. I messed up. I'll fix it." She said, looking guilty, but wary of having any sort of heartfelt conversation right now.

“I’m coming up there in 20 minutes, Wynonna, whether you’re through or not. She’s hurting and I’m not going to just sit on my hands, do you understand?”

“I got it, Nicole.” Wynonna said, looking her in the eyes, then turning to make her way upstairs. As she disappeared up the stairs, the rest of the group decided to clean up as the night was declared over. Because of the copious amounts of whiskey that was imbibed, Gus refused to let them leave the Homestead, taking the keys from everyone before gathering blankets for them all and excusing herself to her own bedroom.

Dolls and Doc groused about who would get the floor and who would take the couch while Nicole went out onto the porch for some fresh air, giving Wynonna time to talk to Waverly before she went upstairs to join her girlfriend. The guys must have settled their disagreement because she soon heard a symphony of snores that only come from a long night of drinking. She sighed and looked out over the trees and waited.

“Waverly." Wynonna said gently, while knocking softly on the bathroom door. "Baby girl. Open up, please."

“Wynonna, not right now, okay. Just go to bed.” Waverly replied quietly from behind the door. “I think you’ve said enough for the night anyway.”

“Waves. Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. It was the whiskey talking.”

The door opened partially and Waverly’s furious face peeked through the crack, “That’s your apology, Wynonna? The whiskey did it? That’s pitiful. Go away!” She said, shutting the door again quickly.

Wynonna sighed and rested her head on the door. “No, Waverly, it was me. It was me. It was all me. I don’t even know why I said it.” She took a deep breath and thought for a moment. “No, yes, I do. Do you know you’re the best of us, Waverly? When they hear the name Waverly, they think of the sweet, smiling Earp willing to help out anyone. When they hear Wynonna, they know shit’s gone down. People in Purgatory tolerate me because I save their dumb lives, but Waverly, people in Purgatory love you because you’re Waverly. And maybe I get jealous of that, of that unconditional love, of having friends, of not being looked at sideways when you walk down the street. It was a shitty thing to say and I’m really sorry and would you please just open the door, I’m tired of talking to it.” She said, shoving it with her hip before sliding down it, resting her back against it while sitting on the floor.

At that moment, Waverly opens the door, sending Wynonna tumbling backward onto the bathroom floor, "You're a dummy, I hope you know that." she said, looking at her sister.

“How was I supposed to know you were going to actually listen and open the door?” She said, rubbing her head, before slowly getting up.

“No, not that.” She said, flicking her sister in the forehead, “Look around you. Who is here tonight?”

Wynonna looked confused, but listed off the people in the Homestead, “Gus, Doc, Dolls, Nicole, me, and you?”

“Right. And who is here every Sunday? And when we all go to work, who’s there? And when we go out bowling or to Shorty’s or anywhere, who’s there?” Waverly asked, looking at her sister expectantly.

“Gus, Doc, Dolls, Nicole, me, and you?” Wynonna answered, still not getting the point.

“Exactly. So who are all these friends that you’re jealous of? Or the unconditional love? With the exception of Nicole, you’re my best friend Wynonna. And if all those people love me unconditionally, they certainly love you just as much. They love you because you’re you. For a long time, they loved me because I fit the mold they wanted me to. Head cheerleader, dating a rodeo champ, nice to everyone no matter. You guys all made me realize I could be loved for who I was, not who I should be.”

“I hope Nicole doesn’t love me as..” Wynonna started before her sister cut her off.

“Not now.”

Wynonna looking suitably chastised looked her sister in the eyes. “The difference Waverly is that they love me because they need me. Got demons to kill.” She said with a tinge of bitterness in her voice.

“Wynonna, do you know what a keystone is?”

“Um, the beer they try to pawn off on you at frat parties?" She answered, knowing she was probably very wrong.

“Well, I guess that is one,” a small smile escaping from Waverly’s face, ”but in this case, a keystone is the final stone placed when you’re building an arch. It lets the arch support weight without falling apart. It’s the most important part of the structure.”

“Is there a point to the architecture lesson, Waves?” Wynonna asked, her head tilted slightly.

Waverly took a deep breath, “Yes, my point is, you are that keystone. You are what brought us together and you are what keeps us together and if that doesn’t prove how loved you are, I don’t know what else will honestly.” She said, looking down at her fingers which were fidgeting together. When Wynonna hadn’t spoken for several moments, Waverly assumed she had left, but when she looked up she was surprised to see her sister staring at her with tears ringing her eyes.

“I don’t even know what to say, Waves.” She said before hurriedly sweeping her sister into her arms and hugging her tightly. “Thank you so much and I am so very sorry about tonight.” She backed away from her sister, “Are we okay?”

“Always, Wynonna. I love you.” She said giving her a toothless smile.

“I love you too, baby girl. Now I should probably let Nicole on up before she just tosses me down the stairs. She loves you, you know? It’s kind of disgusting.” She said, grimacing, then smiling before leaving the bedroom.

 

                                                                                                    ***

 

“All yours, Haught.” Wynonna called from the door to the porch. She disappeared before Nicole could even respond. Nicole got up, stretched her legs, and went into the Homestead and was stopped immediately at the scene before her. It seemed Wynonna was equally as mesmerized.

The dispute between where the men would sleep had indeed been resolved, but neither would take the floor. Instead, both men were sleeping foot to head on the small country couch. Dolls had his head back, mouth wide open, with Doc’s big toe dangerously close to skirting his lips. Before she could even reach her own pocket, Wynonna, who had clearly had the same idea, whipped out her phone and took a picture of the sleeping duo.

“You never know when that might come in handy, you know?” She said, quietly.

“No, I guess not.” Nicole said, covering her mouth to hide the chuckle.

The two women went up the stairs, Nicole stopping at Waverly's door and Wynonna continuing to her own door. They both stopped briefly before opening the door.

“Nicole?” Wynonna whispered.

“Yeah?” She whispered back.

“Thank you for taking care of Waverly when I couldn’t.” She said, a bit sadly, before slipping quietly into her room.

Nicole opened the door to her girlfriend’s room slowly, not entirely sure what to expect. What she found was Waverly curled up on her side facing the wall away from her, blankets surrounding her, and breathing softly. Nicole quietly removed her clothes and put on pajama pants and a tank top, then slipped in behind Waverly, wrapping her arm lightly around her waist and snuggling her nose into her neck. She began to drift off to the sound of Waverly’s breathing.

“Nicole?” Waverly said softly, “Are you awake?”

“Ymph.” Nicole sleepily mumbled into the back of Waverly’s neck.

“I’ll take that as a no,” she said, chuckling lightly, brushing her hand along Nicole’s arm, “Go back to sleep, baby, it’s not important.”

“No. I’m t’tly wake,” Nicole said, valiantly lifting her head to show Waverly how awake she was. “Whatchu need, beb?” Her voice muffled again by hair and neck.

Waverly and Wynonna had made up, but some of her words had still left Waverly feeling a little vulnerable. "Do you think people are only interested in me because I'm pretty?"

This woke up Nicole. “What?”

“Do you think people..” Waverly began again.

“No, babe, I heard you, why in the world would you think that? Look, “ Nicole said, moving over in the bed, so Waverly could lay flat on her back and Nicole could truly look at her, “you are absolutely and undeniably stunning, but that, my love, is the least interesting thing about you.” Nicole began to run her hand along the side of Waverly’s face, running her fingertips along her hairline and behind her ear. Waverly closed her eyes and leaned into Nicole’s touch. “You’re warm and you’ve got this quirky sense of humor that gets me every time. You’ve got this gigantic heart, Waves, that sees the best in people no matter how much they’ve let you down. You’re fiercely protective and loyal and god, you’re smart. Black Badge would be nothing without you. When I see you get so passionate about some research you’ve found, honestly, it turns me on a little.”

With that admission, Waverly opens her eyes and turns towards her girlfriend with a toothy smile, “Really?” Nicole doesn’t answer, burying her face in Waverly’s shoulder, but Waverly can see the tips of Nicole’s ears redden.

“That's not the point." Nicole says, resuming her previous ministrations, running her fingers through Waverly's hair. When Waverly closes her eyes again, smile still on her face, she continues, "My point is when you love something, are passionate about something, you give it everything you have and if that's not interesting to some people, I say fuck ‘em. They don't deserve you."

“Fuck ‘em, huh?” Waverly asked, grinning, looking at her again.

“Yep, fuck ‘em.” Nicole answered back. Nicole moved back closer, propping herself on her elbow and placing her other hand on the other side of Waverly. The way Nicole was looking at her made Waverly’s grin vanish, her face turning serious as she began looking at Nicole’s lips. Nicole placed a kiss each on Waverly’s cheeks, forehead, then finally the tip of her nose before lightly pressing their lips together.

“Fuck ‘em.” They both whispered into each other’s lips before Nicole moved her body over Waverly’s and settled between her legs. Waverly’s hands were cupping her girlfriend’s face while their kissing deepened, tongues peeking between lips then withdrawing. Nicole slid her hand up Waverly shirt, lightly over her ribs before cupping her breast, and running her thumb over a hardening nipple.

“Take off your shirt.” Waverly mumbled into Nicole’s lips. With a quick peck on the lips, Nicole was up on her knees and throwing the tank top across the room. Waverly took advantage of this movement, hooked her leg around Nicole’s knees, and toppled her onto her back. Before Nicole could protest, Waverly was straddling her thighs, grinding down slowly.

“Dirty pool, Waves.” Nicole complained, rubbing her hands up and down Waverly’s now exposed thighs.

“Are you really going to complain, babe?" She asked, reaching for the hem of her sleep shirt and slowly raising it above her waist. Nicole's hands tightened on Waverly's thighs as more of her skin was shown. "I'll take that as a no." She giggled, raising the shirt even more before tugging it off completely, letting it join Nicole's tank top somewhere on the floor. Waverly ran her hands up Nicole's stomach, palming each of her breasts before giving each nipple a quick squeeze. Rewarded with a quick inhale, she moved to Nicole's neck, licking and nipping a line that trailed from her ear, down her collarbone, and through the valley of her breasts.

“We.. we have too many clothes on, Waves." Nicole said, flushed and slightly panting. She dipped her fingers below the waistband of Waverly's sleep shorts, but before she could go any further the door to their room was kicked open with a loud reverberating crack. And suddenly they were soaked with freezing, ice water and faced with a cackling Wynonna holding a large, empty pitcher over her head.

“Jesus tap-dancing Christ, Wynonna!" Waverly screeched, while Nicole could only get out monosyllabic grunts and curses. "What the hell?"

“That’s for not appreciating my eggs-cellent pun earlier. Now the yolks on you!” She was out of the room, laughing hysterically before either woman had time to react. “Oh, and nice boobs, Officer Haught!” She shouted from the hallway. Wynonna loved Sunday suppers.

“I love you but... I.. am going.. to kill... your sister.. once... I can feel.. my nipples.. again." Nicole said, stalking to the bathroom for towels.

“You’re a cop. I’ll kill her. You hide the body.”

 

                                                                                                   ***

 

There would be no Sunday supper this week, but no one seemed to mind as it was the weekend of the Purgatory Fair which meant it was finally time for the Great Purgatory Bake Off. Waverly was practically bouncing off the walls when she went in to wake up a deeply sleeping Wynonna. A Wynonna who seemed to have forgotten completely about signing up for a baking competition. A baking competition in which the contestants had to be there at six in the morning to begin preparations.

“Who’s dumb idea was this exactly?” Wynonna grumbled into the pillow currently covering her face, trying to block out both the rising sun and her cheery sister.

“It would be your dumb idea, my darling sister. Now get up!” Waverly said, her face close to the pillow she was poking in rough approximation to where she thought Wynonna’s forehead would be. “Gus is ready to go and everyone else is meeting us out there. Let’s go!”

It took another hour before Wynonna was down the stairs and Waverly was handing her a thermos of coffee. It was another fifteen before Waverly got up the courage to tell Wynonna her shirt was on backward. Wynonna just shrugged and got in the truck where Gus was waiting, Waverly sliding in behind her. Gus and Waverly made idle chit chat about who might win what blue ribbon and whether there would still be a fireworks show after the storm that blew in last night. Wynonna just sat in the middle of the two, grumbling into her coffee.

Before long the trio entered Purgatory proper and it was clear Nedley had allowed the town to go all out with the decorations. The town was festooned with ribbons and balloons in festive fall colors, although the abundant smattering of inflatable bananas was a little odd.

“Bananas don't really remind me of Autumn. I wonder why Nedley chose them as the theme for the Bake Off this year." Waverly mused as they walked by the balloons, Wynonna poking them every few feet as they walked towards the baking tent set up.

“A truck overturned on the highway right inside Purgatory lines. Dumped a whole load of ‘em right in the middle of the road. Sheriff figured why not use them before the animals got to them or they just rotted and stunk up half of town. Of course, now that I think of it, that’s probably where Angus took off to.” Nicole explained, stepping in behind them and following them into the tent.

“Who’s Angus?” Waverly asked, “And why are you in your uniform?”

“Angus is Mrs. Merton’s pet raccoon, apparently, who went missing and is probably whiskers deep in bananas as we speak. And I’m on duty, Waves.” she said, tapping on her badge, “After the Chili Cookout Debacle of ‘05 and the Poker Spectacular last year, Nedley figured there should be an official police presence at any town gathering. And since Nedley is the host of this shindig and one of the judges,” Nicole twirled in a circle, “I am the official police presence to keep the wily bakers in line. So watch it, Earp.”

“I know what I’d like to be whiskers deep in..” Waverly started, playing with the collar of Nicole’s shirt, “Wait, no, oh my God. Please forget I said that.” She said laying her head on Nicole’s chest, who was trying her very best to hold in her laughter.

“Eww, yeah, I don’t know if I can Waverly.” Wynonna said, grimacing behind her. “That was,” pointing at her, “just really awful. I’m going to find Doc and Dolls before this starts and maybe I won’t tell them about this.” She walked out of the tent before ducking her head back in, “Who am I kidding? Of course, I’m going to tell them. God, Waverly, you’re a mess.”

“Well, baby, if it helps, Gus didn’t hear that.” Nicole said into the top of Waverly’s head before nodding towards Gus who was talking to Nedley and Ms. Otis, one of the other judges. Waverly merely groaned into Nicole’s chest. “Come on, smooth talker, let’s get you set up, I think this thing is about to start.” She said, raising Waverly’s chin with her finger and kissing her lightly.

Soon Nedley was at the podium proudly announcing the start of the Bake Off. The basic ingredients for the banana muffins were set out on each of the six contestants tables. Wynonna chose the table directly across from Waverly so she could still make obnoxious comments as they were baking.. and occasionally throw a pecan or two her direction. Nicole made the rounds, stopping at each table, enthusiastically wishing each contestant luck. She stopped at one of the back tables for a bit longer than the others before making her way back to the front where Waverly was busy mixing her batter. Nicole leaned against Waverly's table, talking softly, watching her work.

"Hey, no helping her out, Haught. That's cheating!" Wynonna yelled, doing her best to glare at the couple while they stood there smirking at her.

"Excuse me? I'm an Officer of the Law, I certainly wouldn't be helping anyone cheat. Even if it was the charming Waverly Earp," Nicole said with a grin, bending down to kiss Waverly's neck, "And anyway, we were merely making a wager if she were to win. So Wynonna, you wanna make a wager on who wins this competition? Put your money where your mouth is?" Nicole raised an eyebrow at the woman, daring her.

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you Haught, but I'll take that bet, but no telling the stakes or it doesn't count." She said, raising her own daring eyebrow.

Nicole stared at Wynonna trying to get a read on her expression, but relented, "Okay, it's a bet." Before she walked over to Wynonna, Nicole returned to Waverly who stood on her toes to make sure her lips brushed the officer's ear with every whispered word of the proffered wager. When Nicole stood up, Waverly grinned with satisfaction when she saw the tips of Nicole's ears nearly matched the blush on her face.

"Now, no telling, Nicole." Waverly said softly, running her fingertips along Nicole's collarbone and down the front of her shirt.

It took a moment for Nicole to collect her thoughts, "Oh, that certainly won't be a problem." She shook her head lightly then turned to Wynonna, "Alright, now what's your wager, Wynonna?" dutifully going over to her and lowering her head. Wynonna whispered animatedly in her ear, and if possible, Nicole turned redder than she was before, now more resembling a jar of Gus's jarred beets.

"No telling!" Wynonna yelled as Nicole hurried over to Waverly.

With a stunned expression on her face, Nicole took Waverly by the shoulders, and looked her straight into the eyes, "For the love of all that's right in this world, if you love me at all, you will not let Wynonna win this Bake Off." Nicole shuffled off in a hurry hearing Wynonna chortling heavily and Waverly loudly shouting, "What did you say to my girlfriend?"

 

                                                                                                    ***

 

Nedley called time three hours later and all six bakers brought their baskets of muffins up to the judge's table to be looked over. Wynonna practically ran to place hers so she could get out of that tent and perhaps go take a nap in Gus's truck before the winners' announcement. She vowed never to enter another baking contest that started before noon or really, another baking contest at all. She was not the only one with the nap idea, as when she got to the truck she saw Doc and Dolls reclining in the bed of the truck, fast asleep. She thought of startling them awake but abandoned the idea in favor of wedging herself between them and quickly nodding off herself.

Back in the tent, the two judges were picking apart the muffins and tasting each one, nodding and talking amongst themselves. Ms. Otis would point at a basket and Nedley would take another taste, shaking his head before pointing at a different basket.

“I know one thing for certain, this entire tent smells delicious." Nicole said, wrapping her arm around Waverly's waist and pulling her close, "How do you think you did, Waves?"

Waverly put her head on Nicole's shoulder, "I thought they tasted great, but I guess we'll see. They seem to be going back and forth up there."

“I’m sure you did just fine, honey.” Gus said, putting her hand on Waverly’s shoulder, “Do you know where Wynonna got off to? I think they’re ready to announce the winner.”

“I’ll go take a look around. I should check in with the Sheriff anyway. I’ll talk to you later.” Nicole replied, giving Waverly a quick kiss before nodding at Gus and excusing herself.

A couple minutes later, Nicole was dragging a trio of half asleep, half standing bodies into the tent. "Found her!" Nicole let them go to wander towards Gus and Waverly while she went to talk to Nedley. Nedley and Ms. Otis had come to a decision and were ready to announce the winner of the Great Purgatory Bake Off. Nicole put two small trophies on the judges' table along with a basket overflowing with goodies.

“If I could have everyone's attention, please." Nedley said through a squealing microphone. Everyone flinched at the sound.

“Geez, Nedley, we’re all right here. You don’t need that thing. Just use your big boy voice.” Wynonna stated, rubbing her ears.

“Fine," Nedley said, putting the microphone down, "Ms. Otis and I have picked this year's winners. In third place, we have Mrs. Finley. Congratulations, Mrs. Finley, if you could just step up here and get your trophy from Nicole." Mrs. Finley walked up to the table and stood next to it with her little trophy, face beaming. "Okay, and in second place, a first-time contestant," and with this Wynonna pointed at Waverly, then pointed at herself and gave herself the number one sign, "Ms. Waverly Earp." Nedley continued. Wynonna looked rather pleased with herself while Waverly looked a little deflated getting her little trophy from Nicole. Nicole tried to give her a comforting look.

“I’m sure they were delicious, babe.” Nicole whispered.

“And now for first place, which should come as a shock to no one considering she’s won this six years running now, Mrs. Gus McCready.” Nedley announced.

“Wait, what? Gus has won this thing seven times now? I didn’t even know she was entered!” Wynonna said in disbelief.

“Well, if you removed your head from your rear and stopped taunting your sister perhaps you would have noticed me at the back table here in the tent, Wynonna.” Gus said, walking up to the judges’ table to claim her basket.

Although she was disappointed, Waverly supposed if she was going to lose to anyone it was better to lose to Gus than to lose to Wynonna. Nicole, Waverly, and Wynonna went over to congratulate Gus. Well, Wynonna also went over to scope out the winner basket, but she made certain to congratulate Gus first. Seeing if there was anything worth taking, Wynonna noticed a paisley scarf, some silver and turquoise earrings, Mr. George's famous buttermilk poke cake, and a couple jars of Ms. Otis canned tomatoes, at one time, a favorite of her Uncle Curtis.

“Wait a second, Nedley. This basket was practically made for Gus. What if I had won this? Where’s the whiskey? The doughnuts?” Wynonna asked, turning the jar of tomatoes over in her hand.

Nedley scoffed, "That was not likely to happen, Wynonna." It was against normal protocol, but Nedley did enjoy annoying Wynonna occasionally so he showed her the scorecard for the contest. There, in last place, was Wynonna's name.

“Oh come on, Nedley. Last place? That’s some bullshit. I use the same recipe as Gus and Waverly. This is rigged.” Wynonna groused, throwing the scorecard down on the table.

“No, ma'am. All on the up and up." Nedley said, before walking out of the tent. "Maybe next year, Earp." He said, chuckling.

Angry, Wynonna went and grabbed a muffin each from Gus, Waverly, and her own basket and placed it between the five of them. “Okay, everyone taste a bit of Gus’s muffin.” They all let out a heavy sigh, but relented and took a piece of the muffin. Everyone agreed it was a delicious muffin, golden brown and delicate.

“Fine, that was really good. Now, Waverly’s.” Wynonna demanded. They did the same with Waverly’s muffin. Same result, it was a delicious muffin. Everyone agreed it was a close call.

“And I use the same recipe, so I should have at least got third, right? Right. Taste!” Wynonna said, practically shoving pieces in their hands. They all took a piece and as they chewed they started to look around at each other. Polite smiles began to appear on faces. No one spoke for a minute, but everyone watched Wynonna.

“Goddammit, I forgot to add the bananas!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


End file.
